Another day moving forward

One of those days when life throws you all sorts of curves to deal with. We had been worrying about the amount of money we would need to place as a bond for my mothers nursing home, figures as high as 400,000 dollars were quoted. The decision was limited either selling the family home or mortgaging it to the hilt.

The news was initially good in that it would only be 125,000 dollars but the sting was in the reasoning. Its not going to be long before she is almost permanently bed ridden and then the pension covers the costs.

You know that your parents are going to get old and die but getting to the reality is a lot harder to face up to. Dad died just over a year ago and I still have not fully accepted that now its my mother.

I think the fact that I have spent most of my life away from home and a good period of that out of contact with my parents, means that I deal with it and see it from a different point of view. It tends to be more abstract from my perspective I can deal with the hurt of losing them by pushing it beck to a time and a feeling when I was out of contact.

But life does catch up with you and eventually you have to deal with these feelings. I had always hoped that Mum would go first as Dad would have not lingered on but would have gone from a broken heart. Mum is much more the fighter. Being told by one of the support staff that her short term memory was going did not help.

Is this the Parkinsons taking its course or simple old age we are not sure. I pray that it is the latter as the former would be to cruel.